Being in a perpetual state of stress and anxiety is lame. I tried it for years. An ongoing cycle of run run run, followed by a crash and depression. No structure. Just stress. I’d go until I couldn’t handle it anymore, and then I’d breakdown. I’d go days and weeks without checking any of my accounts or my phone. I’d just vanish and be depressed. This would make me more stressed out. I’d procrastinate. Blow off commitments. Avoid everyone. I would simply hide.
Then I learned how to breathe. Then all that stuff magically went away.
Well, it’s not quite magic. I guess it did take some time.
On day 1, I noticed immediate improvement.
On day 14, I could tell things were different.
On day 100, my natural state of existence was unrecognizable to myself. Continue reading
Expectation management (EM) is simply the process by which we manage our expectations. More advanced, it’s a lens with which to analyze the world, life, and our influence in it.
This article will cover 3 aspects of EM that I apply daily. May it serve you well.
- Managing your expectations of yourself.
- Managing your expectations of other.
- Managing other’s expectations of you.
Nail these 3 and you’ll be die happy.
#1. Managing Your Expectations of Yourself. Personal-EM
When Personal-EM is out of whack, we experience all sorts of nasty things. Negative stress, worry, anxiety, disappointment, exasperation, low self esteem, and on and on and on. This is an epidemic in our society. Continue reading
Warning: This post is an experiment. In it I will lay out some stuff that I can only describe as, “new age, psycho babble, weird, gobbledygook”. Normally, I am vehemently against that sort of thing but I’m a pragmatist firstI do what works. I am going to share a mental exercise that you can go through sometime. I cannot explain to you how it works, I can only tell you that it does. It is up to you to suspend any disbelief and go for it.
The only thing you are risking is a little bit of your time and some brain juice. Since you’re already on my blog I know you have some of both to spare so invest them here. You will thank yourself later.
I first went through this exercise in the spring of 2010 and have continued to repeat it at least annually since. I think of this as a software update for my brain and each year I go in and make tweaks/changes so that my software is always running at maximum efficiency. Continue reading
I cannot say enough good things about Medellin, Colombia! I am head over heels in love.
I had been hearing some buzz about Medellin ever since I started traveling and that buzz is very well deserved. I can absolutely see this become a top travel destination in South America over the next decade and it’s definitely a place I’ll be coming back to over and over again. It’s only a 3 hour flight from Miami and it’s serviced by Spirit Air now, meaning cheap flights are easy to get.
Medellin has an extremely recent, very bloody history. Boasting 500+ homicides per month in Medellin alone just over a decade ago. You wouldn’t really know it by walking the streets today, the city is extremely charming. To be honest, I think the horrifying history and recent drug wars somewhat adds to the romantic appeal of Medellin. Everyone else can talk about the history, I want to talk about what’s going on today!
So what exactly is happening in Medellin? Continue reading
In this post I’m going to layout the foundation upon which I live what I consider to be a pretty good life. I hope that they help you to do the same. I’ve been carrying this around with me for the last year and it’s sort of like my own reference book. When I feel sad or like I am in a rut, I just check back to this list to see what is out of line. It’s the underlying mechanics that make the engine that is my life run smoothly.
This is doubly cool in that as far as I can tell it is pretty much immune to circumstance. If I follow my own advice here then it doesn’t matter where in the world I am or what I’m going through I’m usually outrageously content and fulfilled. If I let some of the items go unchecked it’s a slow drop into mediocrity and misery. Continue reading
Not a lot of people know this, but I cut my teeth as an online poker player. That’s how I went from being a dead broke 15 year old, to only moderately broke 18 year old. I learned a lot of valuable lessons, in here are 8 of them. But first, some back story.
The first poker tournament I ever won happened when I was a month shy of 16 years old. It was the $22 9:10PM Heads Up Matches. There were something like 170 entrants, and a first place prize of $1100. I’d been grinding out the low stakes $5.25 Heads up SNGs (that means Sit & Go, 2 players register, game starts, play 1 on 1 until one player has all the chips and they win the pot, minus the houses take of 5%). I played the 4 man version where there were 2 tables each playing 1 on 1, the winners went on to the final round, and the winner got $20. I literally played 20-30 matches per day, every single day. I’d play before school, in school I’d review hand histories and read 2p2 posts I printed out discussing various strategies for heads up matches.
The $22 nightly tournament was always my “big shot” game. If I’d had a good session that evening, I’d play it. If not, no thanks. I was constantly “going broke” and having to wait tip I could scrounge up $100 to give to my friend’s dad to transfer to me on the site so I could start playing again. Of course I was playing under my mother’s name as you had to be 18 to be on the site.
As soon as I got a taste of poker for money, I was hooked. I recognized that it was a game of skill, and that I could leverage my infinite free time as a broke 15 year old to learn well enough to make an extremely modest income. I’d watch Phil Ivey and Daniel Negraneu on High Stakes Poker and read about the Las Vegas lifestyle of high end poker players and think to myself, “Mathematically at my current win-rate and bankroll it’ll take me 100 years to make it to that level if I live with zero expenses, but wow it must be nice.”
Being the youngest son of a single mother of four, who worked part time in the deli of a grocery store to make an attempt at making ends meet. A $3/hr average rate playing poker on the computer in my room was totally worth it. Every day I’d grind and ruthlessly pursue improving my game. Then it paid off. Continue reading